Do your emotions ever get the best of you? Twice in the past two months, I have found myself standing in the kitchen with tears tumbling down my cheeks, my mom standing on the other side of the counter giving me counsel and encouraging me with God’s Word. She has such a special gift for making everyone feel better. I wasn’t sad…just a little overwhelmed. However, the purpose of this post is not to focus on how overwhelmed I was feeling, but to write about how thankful I am for the support of my family, and most importantly, for the grace of God that strengthens us in all of our weakest moments.
The past couple months, I have struggled with some anxiety about my future. I am quickly approaching exciting milestones in my life, like getting my license, applying for my first job, thinking about college, and graduating from high school! Thinking about all of these things thrills my heart with eager anticipation. But thinking about it also makes me more aware of my speech disfluency and how much it affects my life, not necessarily in a bad way, but in a particularly significant way. Verbal communication is essential to life; but yet, communication is the most daunting obstacle I face each day.
Fear can wreck so much havoc in our hearts if we do not take those thoughts captive to Christ. Just the other night, I shared with my mom how I had been thinking about my first job interview someday. When I reach out my hand to shake the interviewer’s hand, the first thing I will need to say is my name. My name…one of the hardest words for me to say. Ok, Lord, I will definitely need Your help to make it through this when the day comes! Could I maybe just tell him ‘Kenzie’ since that ‘M’ is SO difficult for me? 🙂 Before I know it, I’m dwelling on thoughts like this all day long, instead of resting in God. Eventually all of those thoughts just become too much for me to hold in anymore. In those moments, my parents are always, always there for me. I love them both with all my heart, and more.
Finding a job will not be easy. Giving college presentations will not be easy. Communicating effectively throughout my life will not be easy. But God promises us that His grace is always sufficient: “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). I really don’t know what my life will look like with a stutter, but that’s OK. What I do know is that God’s grace will be sufficient for every day.
Sometimes, the struggle to communicate is unbelievably discouraging and overwhelming, especially the struggle to say my own name. But I must make the choice not to dwell on all of the difficult moments, and instead, to replace my fear with thankfulness. I can thank God for His amazing grace, for all the times that I am able to express my thoughts, and for all of the exciting things coming up in my life soon.
There will always be plenty of things to worry about or to be discouraged about in life, but if you really think about it, there is often much more to be thankful for.
much love, makenzie