Have you ever noticed that every single sea shell is different? Maybe you have never noticed or maybe, if you’re like me, you just don’t see them very often. One shell, though it may share the same overall characteristics as another, has something special about it that sets it apart from all the others. This diversity makes searching for shells along the shore much more exciting! You never know what you may discover when you scoop up a handful of sand.
People, just like shells, are all different. Some of us are extroverted; others are introverted. Some of us have blue eyes; others have brown eyes. Some of us are tall; others are short. Some of us love public speaking; others would rather crawl under a rock than face all of those people staring at us!
Some of us stutter; others don’t. I am beginning to understand that stuttering is just another one of those differences that sets someone apart from other people. Although it’s not as common as everyday differences like eye colors and personalities, stuttering is just another characteristic that distinguishes me from others. However, learning to accept this particular difference has been much more difficult than simply wishing I had different eyes.
I’m not going to lie. . .Recently, I have been struggling with my stutter. I am battling some regrets about past experiences and countless fears for the future. Sometimes, as I lie in bed at night, I think about all that happened that day while also thinking about my future. Why didn’t you tell that person what you wanted so desperately to tell them? Why didn’t you ask that question or join that conversation? Why didn’t you just stop yourself and use a strategy to help yourself out of that block? Why didn’t you order what you really wanted? How will you possibly ever speak for yourself? What about job interviews and college classes? Will employers even take you seriously? Why are you so afraid to let people hear your stutter?
Is it just me, or do all of your deepest contemplations about life come flooding in at night when you are trying to sleep? 🙂
Somedays, I just feel completely overwhelmed and helpless; and I allow those thoughts to steal my peace and joy. However, the Lord has a special way of redirecting my focus and lifting my eyes upward. If He knows exactly how many stars twinkle in the sky and knows them all by name, shouldn’t we trust Him to hold our lives in His hands? “He telleth the number of stars; he calleth them all by their names. Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.” ~Psalm 147: 4-5~
Right now, it is hard for me to imagine what life will look like for me once I venture out on my own. But I must make the choice to rise above my circumstances, keep doing my part to improve my speech, and trust God for the rest. I will not let my fears drown out the joy bubbling over in my heart because of this beautiful life the Lord has given me. I will keep trusting, keep praying, keep smiling.
I know that this journey will not be easy, but I have a close Friend to walk beside me. I have a Friend Who knows me inside and out and Who made me this way for a very special purpose that my finite mind just can not understand. I have a Friend who will be faithful forever.
What a friend we have in Jesus.
Much love, Makenzie