Stuttering is a constant adventure filled with endless lessons along the way. Just when I think I’ve figured it out, God shows me something else. Life is never dull when you stutter! For the past couple of days, though, I’ve been thinking about one statement in particular that I made a few months ago. I emphatically said that I didn’t call myself a stutterer, meaning that stuttering wasn’t “me.” But you know what? I was wrong. Stuttering is part of who I am. Of course, it’s not everything I am, but it’s a vitally important part of me because a loving Creator gave it to me. In His perfect plan, God has given me this perfectly imperfect identity, and I am learning to love it.
The moment God created man, the crowning work of His creation, the world changed forever. From the first man ever created to the last person that will walk this earth, every human being is unique. God created each one of us with a different gift to offer, a different purpose to accomplish. These different gifts are what give us our special, one-of-a-kind identity. We are His chosen vessels here on earth to carry out His purposes and to advance His kingdom. Pretty amazing, huh?
Sometimes, our gift turns out to be something we never imagined it would be. Could it be that maybe-just maybe-our gifts are the very things that we thought were hindering us from finding our gift? Could it be that my purpose is to let God use my stutter to bring glory to His name? Is the identity that I questioned for so long supposed to be a beacon of light to someone else wandering in the dark? Needless to say, God answered these questions with a resounding “YES!”
God created me-and He created you-the way He did for a very specific reason. He makes no mistakes. What a comforting thought!
Stuttering is part of my identity, and I am slowly learning to be proud of this name God has given me. I wouldn’t be who I am without my stutter. My speech therapist reminded me of this on Tuesday. My main reason for going to speech therapy is not to learn how to hide my stutter, but just to learn how to control it better. How could I possibly hide something that has enriched my life so much and shaped who I am as a person? This beautiful, perfectly imperfect life God has asked me to live surpasses my wildest dreams.
So, in complete contrast to my earlier post: yes, I am a stutterer. And I wouldn’t change a thing.