As I sit at our dining room table writing this blog post, my heart is soaring to cloud nine. Not because something huge happened, but because one small victory was won. No matter how small it may seem, I am choosing to celebrate it and to thank my sweet Savior for His amazing grace that won the battle.
As we sat at O’Charley’s with some dear friends yesterday, I scanned the entire menu, trying to decide what I wanted to order. Flipping through the pages, I couldn’t help but notice every C, every F, every G, every S, every B. . .all the sounds that seem to freeze in place as soon as they hit my lips. Eventually, I spotted the perfect lunch: chicken tenders, fries, and sweet tea. “Oh no,” I thought to myself, “how am I supposed to order something that requires me to use C, F, AND S? That’s three trouble sounds in a row!” I kept looking for something else on the menu, but time ran out. Our waitress came back, and it was my turn to order. . .
Our waitress was very kind, but unfortunately, that didn’t keep my heart from beating furiously. I took a deep breath and hoped for the best. “I would like the. . . um, the. . .um, chi-…chi-” I was stuck. . .completely frozen. As I struggled to order, my fear told me to give up and quickly choose a different meal, as I always do. After all, I save myself so much heartache when I just pick the easiest thing to say. But my heart told me to keep trying. Today, I am so glad I listened to that still, small voice speaking peace to my heart.
Finally, the words tumbled out: “Chicken tenders and fries, please.” As the waitress wrote down my order, my heart leaped with pure joy. For the first time in months, the waitress was walking away with an order that I actually wanted. Those few moments of struggle were incredibly scary and beautiful all at the same time. Scary because I had stuttered in front of friends and a stranger, but beautiful because I hadn’t given up this time. I chose to put my trembling voice in God’s hands and let Him do the rest.
Looking back at this important milestone on this journey, I feel overwhelmed by God’s grace. In our weakest moments, He is strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” It was only His grace that gave me the courage to try, and it was only His grace that gave me the strength to keep trying. Do I ever feel sad that I can’t order as quickly and smoothly as everyone else? Absolutely. But does His grace pull me through every time? Most definitely.
Even though it was exhausting to order, that was one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time!